Do you ever feel the Lord pulling at your heart? Pulling at your mind? Telling you to do something?
When you feel Jesus telling you to do something, pushing you with more weight than you ever felt, what do you do? Do you wait? Do you have a 24-hour rule? Does it depend what it is, if it is a small thing or a large thing?
These are the questions I wonder because that is what I do. I also wonder what happens if you wait too long? When you feel that push, the weight, when you feel or hear Jesus telling you what to do, whether it is big or small, why do you not react instantly? I worry that when I feel that I am supposed to do or change something and I do not, I keep waiting even though I am thinking I should just do it, that I will miss the opportunity and it will be gone.
People are complex. While some of us say we trust God 100%, that we let him lead us in all things we do daily, we still hesitate. I am guilty of it! I will even have a dream that is so real I will wake up and start preparing and realize it was only a dream. Why stop preparing because it was a dream? Obviously, it is God trying to tell me something! I miss the signals, I miss the push, I miss. I am human. Worse, I am a mother!
I know it is people who give up on God and God does not give up on us. I still carry that worry sometimes, and that worry is just taking up space. I know it is silly and I know it is unwarranted.
Lamentations 3:21-24 reads: “Yet hope returns when I remember this one thing: The Lord’s unfailing love and mercy still continue, Fresh as the morning, as sure as the sunrise. The Lord is all I have, and so in Him, I put my hope.”
Is that not just beautiful? This verse fills my heart up with such joy. Even though I will always say I trust in God with all my might that fact is I fail, I hesitate, I second guess. I question that nudge and push and voice and dream and sound and everything you can imagine, I second guess. I need to stop questioning and second-guessing. But I am human. Thank you, God, I am human, I am one of his children. Lamentations 3:21-24 tells me that his love with always be with me, always be available to me. I just need to reach, be present, and trust him. The Lord is all I have, all we have, and we need!
I know it can be hard to trust. What is even harder are the ‘What ifs?’ What if you do not go for that job? What if you leave your job? What if you do the wrong thing and are caught? What if you do change a name (of anything)? What if? What if? What if? ‘What if’ to everything big or small! We are just finicky beings! We ‘What if’ everything it seems. We make pros and cons lists. We over think and under think. We make good and bad choices. God knows. He knows all and knows our flaws.
There are hard days like today where I am so glad to have Jesus in my life. I feel him pulling on my heart and I think I know what he is saying but here I am still wondering “is this right? Am I hearing the right thing? Do you want me to do this or something else? Am I missing something?” To the last part, “Am I missing something?” The answer is always yes! I am always missing something, the last to know, the last to see it! I am glad to have Jesus in my life because despite all my questioning, despite all my hesitation, he is with me. He stays with me.
“He strengthens those who are weak and tired. Even those who are young grow weak; young people can fall exhausted. But those who trust in the Lord for help will find their strength renewed. They will rise on wings like eagles; they will run and not get weary; they will walk and not grow weak.” Isaiah 40:29-31
God would never give me more than I can handle. At the worst times of my life, at the busiest times of my life, on a regular Tuesday with 4 kids, I may feel like God has given me more than I can handle, but I am still standing, aren’t I? I love God, I trust God, I am so blessed to Believe and have Him in my life. I am still standing! I rise. At my weakest, I am not weak.
Thank you, God!
Thank you, Jesus!
Instead of second-guessing, instead of making lists, instead of hesitating: Pray. Pray longer, pray harder. If I have time to write, if I have time to pin my favorite apple crisp recipe, if I find the time to scroll Facebook, then that means I have time to pray. Instead of second-guessing what my path it, what I am supposed to do, I need to pray. If I pray then I will know. I will see my path, everything will fall into place as it should be.
“Happy are those who remain faithful under trials because when they succeed in passing such a test, they will receive as their reward the life which God has promised to those who love him.” James 1:12