Life is hard. I am not complaining, I am one of the lucky people who love their life and I hope you are too. But we can’t deny it isn’t hard. One of the hardest things though is finding time and ways to take care of yourself. Especially as mothers.
As mothers we do everything. We fix our kids, prepare for everything, make sure all the chores are done, we work in the home and out of the home. We listen to friends, family, even strangers at the park with a loving ear. Mothers take care of people, it’s a gift, it’s what we do. From my observation, most of the mothers I meet are really good at it too.
I’ve recently come into a situation where I did what I needed to do to take care of myself. Instead of announcing a pregnancy right off the bat I took the time I needed-which is almost to the end of my pregnancy-to tell those close to me. Frankly, I’m still working down the list of calls to make and I’m due any day. I needed to deal with my emotions, I needed to deal with the situation, I needed to deal with what was happening. I just wasn’t as emotionally prepared as I should have been. So I took my time, bonded with my husband, and did what I felt like I needed to do with his support and love. Between the fact that I am having a fifth child, the second complaint I keep receiving is why I waited to announce my pregnancy. Even stating my reasons isn’t a good enough to those around me. For the first time though I took care of myself and because I did I feel great and happy about this life change and my wonderful family.
Mothers, never apologize for taking care of yourself.
I needed time, I took the time. Us mothers, we are always taking care of everyone else. We are always making sure everything is ready and bagged up for soccer practice, we have enough snacks to get through Mass, we do everything we can to get from point A to point B. We fix cuts, kiss away tears, spend days watching bad kids movies to cheer the little ones up. We watch sports and cars shows and superhero movies. We listen to everyone’s bad days and we spread no complaints. We listen to those around us before ourselves. We make too many commitments but always seem to follow through.
It’s ok to say No to something. It’s ok to not volunteer for something. It’s ok to turn to your spouse over your friends and vice versa (pending on the situation, that’s not my place). Its ok to not sign up for snack duty or as den mother.
Keep your feelings to yourself, discuss them with your spouse, turn to your friends, go to your pastor, visit a therapist, do what YOU need to do. It’s ok to not suit every situation and every feeling to what suits everyone else. Go to the coffee shop, the spa, get your hair done, take up boxing, go for a three-mile run, bake nine dozen cookies, build a new table, weld a sculpture, whatever suits you. The important thing is to do what you need to do to take care of yourself.
You are important. Your emotional and physical well being is important. Never apologize or feel bad for doing what you need to do to take care of yourself.
When you take care of yourself in your own way you feel better, you are better, and you do better.
I love my life and family, I know I am very lucky and very blessed. When I needed to take care of myself to cope with my emotions it was worth it. Because I took my time I can look forward to the future. I hope all my fellow mothers can do the same in whatever way suits you best.
You were made the way you are for a reason. You are perfect the way you are. There was no mistake in the way you were made.
I hope every mother, every person, realizes that they should and need to take care of themselves and do just that.
Whether big or small, whatever suits you, you should take care of your wellbeing. Make sure you are on your to-do list also.
Never apologize for taking care of yourself and doing better. You are an amazing, precious, and great person.