Some people have an excuse for everything. They act this way or that way because of their past, their parents didn’t raise the right, they have a hard life, nothing goes right, everything is overwhelming. Things are too hard, life isn’t going the way they planned, things fell through. I wanted X and tried to find X and couldn’t find X, only one person got back to me about X but I didn’t get back to them.
You can just fill in the blanks and develop an excuse to fit whatever situation works best for what you are thinking about.
Why do we make excuses? Or yet, why does it bother us so much about others making excuses?
There is a fellow mother I know going through a hard time. Every time I offer help, do research for her, try to solve her list of growing problems, it seems like she rejects any help I offer and I can’t understand why. Me unable to understand though is on me. I think that because there have been times where I really wish someone had a shoulder for me that no one else would reject help. For this example, even though I am giving her all the information directly, could be ‘solving’ all her problems, there clearly are other issues I just can’t see or I am even able to address.
Behind every excuse is the real reason. The real reason they can’t find a better home to live in, a real reason they don’t have a car, a real reason they don’t cook anything new, a real reason they don’t have a better. Behind the excuse you give, your family gives, your friends give, there is a real reason. At those moments the person making the excuse is wondering which is better, the truth or the excuse. The fear or the solution. “If I find a better home I may have to cut back and I can’t eat out all the time and I won’t be able to do as I please”. “If I find a new job I will have to readjust my schedule and get to know a whole slew of people”. “I can’t cook anything new because different foods are not in the budget”. If things change you may have to follow through. Things may change quicker than you anticipated, you may have to change your plan anyway, you won’t be able to blame anyone else but yourself. That is a scary one, owning up, taking the blame, accepting the blame. That one really is scary! It is so much easier having the ability to blame other people! It may sound strange, but sometimes it is easier to stay unhappy than to make leaps and drastic changes.
It got me thinking, when I saw another excuse and my brain went “I solved that problem for you why didn’t you follow through!” When I sat down to think. Obviously, an excuse is just a cover for an underlying problem. So I once again turned to my favorite book for answers.
1. “do not be stubborn, as your ancestors were when they rebelled against God, as they were that day in the desert when they put him to the test” Hebrews 3:8
2. “Lazy people stay at home; they say a lion might get them if they go outside” Proverbs 22:13
3. “If, then, we say that we have fellowship with him, yet at the same time live in the darkness, we are lying both in our words and in our actions.” 1 John 1:6
4. “But Moses said, “No, Lord, don’t send me. I have never been a good speaker, and I haven’t become one since you began to speak to me. I am a poor speaker, slow and hesitant.” The Lord said to him, “Who gives man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or dumb? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? It is I, the Lord. ” Exodus 4:10-11
5. “For the Spirit that God has given us does not make us timid; instead, his Spirit fills us with power, love, and self-control.” 2 Timothy 1:7
6. “You don’t even know what your life tomorrow will be! You are like a puff of smoke, which appears for a moment and then disappears” James 4:14
7. “For all of us must appear before Christ, to be judged by him. We will each receive what we deserve, according to everything we have done, good or bad, in our bodily life.” 2 Corinthians 5:10
8. “Do you, my friend, pass judgment on others? You have no excuse at all, whoever you are. For when you judge others and then do the same things which they do, you condemn yourself.” Romans 2:1
9. “The Lord is not slow to do what he has promised, as some think. Instead, he is patient with you, because he does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants all to turn away from their sins.” 2 Peter 3:9
10. “They would not have been guilty of sin if I had not come and spoken to them; as it is, they no longer have any excuse for their sin.” John 15:22
I hope you are able to read these and contemplate before you get irritated with someone’s excuse or especially before YOU make an excuse. Realize your words and actions before you do them.
I think you are wonderful before you cover up something when there isn’t a need.