What Do I Know?!

A friend was in need so I prayed, waited, and prayed again and I did what I thought was the right thing, which was to offer help. I was responded with nothing but anger. I was nothing but confused. I prayed over this! I took the time to think about this! I asked God for guidance and did what my heart felt led to! 

I didn’t offer advice, just a helping hand. If it was unwanted advice I’d understand the hostility, but I just offered help, so I couldn’t understand. 

So I prayed some more. Then a little more. Then I prayed so much and I couldn’t sleep and I waited. I waited to figure out what to do. So I wrote an apology, I apologized for offering help and causing stress. I thought I was doing the right thing. I was reached out to with so much hate, anger, hostility, and more hate I was even more lost. 

Lord, I prayed over this. I don’t see what I did wrong. I desperately need to see what I did wrong. I am trying. I am trying to live a good life, set a good example for my family. What am I doing so wrong?

I prayed, thought, prayed a little more, and just thought. I can’t stop thinking. It’s been a long time since something so tiny has dug so hard into me. Was I doing what I thought was right? What could possibly be the point to all this?

I searched for my bible. My bible, the one I highlight and treasure, my first real ‘just mom’s bible’ that I found at a book sale and it started my journey to where I am now. All of a sudden it wasn’t where I kept it. I mean sure, I know where three or four other bibles are but I didn’t want those, I wanted mine. I searched and searched but had no luck. 

Then I went to get my favorite devotional study. Again, not where I could have sworn it belonged. After searching and searching I had no luck. 

I opened up my kindle to the only devotional I have downloaded, Tina Nahid’s Moments of Grace: Daily Reflections for the Homeschool Mom.

On the page my Kindle opened it read:

‘The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance; Therefore, I will hope in him!” Lamentations 3:22-24 NLT’
Well there you go. 

I guess that is that, now isn’t it?

There was a clear reason why I failed when I offered help. There was a clear reason why I couldn’t find my bible or favorite devotional

There was a clear reason why I opened this devotional and was given this page. 

I have friends who do not believe like I do. But there is one thing we all have in common and that is we all believe in signs. I believe in signs from our God. My friends say ‘the universe’. Regardless, it’s pretty obvious Who my sign is from, What my sign is, Where my sign came from, When my sign came to, Why it came, and the method of How it came to me. The reasons are so clear.

A wave of love, relief, and guidance has washed over me. Once again, things in my life are not going as I planned, as I wanted. There is a reason to all of this. And if this is the largest negative thing that I have to encounter at the moment, well then I will call this a pretty good day. 

Just because I prayed, just because I did what I thought was the right thing, doesn’t mean it was what was planned. 

I’ll leave you with page 35 of Tina Nahid’s Moments of Grace again.

‘The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance; Therefore, I will hope in him!” Lamentations 3:22-24 NLT’

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